The Me That You Know|
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|Thursday, February 26th, 2004|
|Friday, January 16th, 2004|
|Friday, December 12th, 2003|
|Sunday, October 26th, 2003|
|its just 5 hours left untill you find me dead....
mr bungle knows how to speak to my heart.. i was singin it all night...
after i saw jamie vincent walk through the haunted forest i just got all quiet and couldnt find any will to keep scaring people.. i just sat there and went numb.
yep... life keeps crapping on me.
|Monday, October 20th, 2003|
|Wednesday, October 15th, 2003|
|get me out of this air condition nightmare.
so ive discovered the joys dreaming can bring to ones life.. and i have been reading on ways to improve my dreams and ill be effed, but they freakin work....
so right now i am on the road to becoming lucid as well as my pal donkus.. we are keeping dream journals...
one of my dreams inspired me to call one of my pals from high school... so far i have yet to reach her.. she moved to sandy er somethin.. oh well.. i will get ahold of her.. i really slept great last night though.. and i am learning to have clearer dreams and how to remember them.
my brother got me a new mr bungle cd.. still funny as crap, it has a beach boys sound about it, and then of course random screams and all around spontanious crap.
nephi finally tricked me into talking to him online, posing as his sister and saying he tried to call me, it confused me but i geuss he had no clue he was on her name. anyways, make a short story worthless, i got it through to him that im not happy with him. some parts of me wanted to say, im over it, lets be pals again, but he wont change and i know i will only be resurfacing my anger feelings which i have already buried. he talked to chad and said that "i geuss eric hates me"
turns out he bought me a painting of trent reznor, oh well, hope he likes nin.
im a heartless bastard, but only when people sTep allover my face.
sWeet charity! Current Mood: curious
|Sunday, October 12th, 2003|
|the sweetest price he'll have to pay
my glasses are locked inside my parents car.. which is at the haunted forest... i lost the keys. i am so pissed, and i got yelled at hard core :(
sometimes i wish i wasnt so far away from happiness... november will bring a smile. Current Mood: sad
|Friday, October 10th, 2003|
|So the doctors stitch and stitch and stitch and stitch and stitch and stitch and stitch
surgery wont improve your pain,
so im freaked out and stuff so ive decided to uninstall Kazaa... RIAA wins.. i think i might pay to download with the new napster that comes out soon.
i finished my FAFSA today and i am nervous... school sounds so stressfull to me.
its great not having to deal with all those dick heads i used to call friends.
dennys is a pretty cool place to hang out after work, people always buy me drinks and crap... i had a horrible headache today and didnt have much fun scaring people :(
i always am entertained when jonelle wilkey wants to hang out with me.. next thing i know ill be asked to go to church with her. but hey, i cant be alone every day now can i?
my dad told me a story the other night that had me laughing...
a guy took a swing at him in front of my mom.. the dude owed us money that we lent him, he got frustrated and tried to beat my dad up... my dad took the first hit, turned around, grabbed the guy by the hair, put his fist to the guys eye ball and pulled back and punched him in the eye about 5 times hard, then turned his head the other way and worked on the other eye. needless to say when the cops pulled up my dad got his money back and the cops just kinda grinned and let him leave. hahaha.. this was when i was 12.. i look up to my father, even after all the times i thought he was an asshole. my parents make me happy.. because they always tell me how proud they are of me for doing things they ask, and not doing things they ask me not to. they are really making this whole "loner" thing work. and kristen turner is starting to email me almost twice a day, she moved to dixie with ruth, i never paid much attention to her when ruth was around because i was so elated by ruths presence that i just... made everyone invisible. but she is a cool girl, she digs nin and depeche mode, and she has a cool lil eyebrow piercing. it was funny the one time she took me on a date because my mom saw the piercing and gave me "the look"
one of the dudes at the haunted forest has been havin fights with his wife the last few days and talk of divorce has been flying about.. anywho we had him bring her to dennies... and i got them both giggling and yea.. i felt happy about it.
ok, enough of this BS, i need to play a video game of some sort.
come and lay with me, come and and lie to me, tell me you love me, say im the only one. Current Mood: bouncy
|Wednesday, October 8th, 2003|
|sweeet smell of sunshine.. i remember sometimes..
how perfect are those lyrics for my dog?
wow i miss my dog.... i wish so much that she will just be waiting for me sometime at the edge of my lawn.... wanting me to call to her to say that its ok to run to me from down the road... i miss the feel and smell of her fur, and the way she would look at me to tell me she loved me... i think i can trace sleep problems to not having my dog anymore :( my snuggle buddy.
i dont think i ever want another dog for a loong loooong time... i would cry too much, heh.
i still find myself wandering outside to visit my dog. and i just picture her standing next to me wagging her tail and i wanna just reach down and pet her.
ive done all i can do, could i please come with you?
sweet smell of sunshine.. i remember sometimes.... Current Mood: frustrated
|Saturday, October 4th, 2003|
|ill build a wall
this trip is getting old as modly cheese, glad its only a 2 day thing and ill be back tommorow night. kendal is still a bitch, but im not suprized.. i wish this would have cheered me up, slim chance eh?
well, i think im out of here... im sleeping on a floor tonight in a shitty hotel that leaves compilmetary pubic hair in there shower for geusts....
.....my life is so fucking useless.. Current Mood: crushed
|Friday, October 3rd, 2003|
|but you wont read that book again because the endings just too hard to take.
right now im in the freaking biggest house i have ever seen in my life, they have 7 or 8 bathrooms... and a FREAKING BADAE! i have not made it outside of utah, we made a side trip to visit Chaney and her Husband at a house they are watching.
the lord of the rings, return of the king trailor looks sweet.
looks like i am going to be passing through logan, so all you logan peeps should feel my grace in the air for at least a few minutes.
i have a laptop with me and will be playing a bunch of old nintendo games to keep me company.
thanks for the mp3 player brian, it will come in handy.
the computer im on is pretty nice, but the freaks have an internet filter on it so i had to freaking STRESS out about getting into lj for a few mins, ok, peace out. Current Mood: excited
|Thursday, October 2nd, 2003|
|things must change, we must rearange them, or well have to estrange them.
so right now im trying to figure out a way to end friendships with a bunch of people at once...
it needs to end.... stress they bring me bothers me.. we have nothing in common anymore...
ive been stressed all night trying to figure it out....
worked tonight.. took mark with me, it was a slow night.. pretty gay because i was sooo stressed....
kill them all maybe...? Current Mood: stressed
|Monday, September 29th, 2003|
|come to daddy
im so in love with peanut butter toast... its good stuff.. too bad we are out of bread.
i have had a freaking insane appetite lately, nothing fills me up anymore...
haunted forest is a pretty damn fun job, i made a grown man piss his pants the other night... two girls were on the ground screaming bloody murder because of me as well (they were teenagers)
that job did teach me one thing though...
how truley evil i am.... a girl was crying before she got to my lil area...(also teenager on a date.. muttering "It only gets worse, i wanna go back") ...i made it a point to try and make her pee her pants.... im going on the express way to hell.. its so funny to me though. lol
im going to take a scorching hot soak in the tub and relax my muscles.. Current Mood: mellow
|Sunday, September 28th, 2003|
|the graph, on the wall, tells the story, of it all
i just finished Amelie, it is the most beautifull movie i have ever seen in my life. i must say that it was better than american beauty.. i fell so in love with the characters, Amelie was very beautiful, and her facial expressions told so so much.
very very cute... that movie made me smile sooo much... i feel happy. Current Mood: cheerful
|Saturday, September 27th, 2003|
|If only i could see
...so yea, im DEAD tired because last night was my first night at the haunted forest.. and there is a BASTARD IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD WITH FREAKING BAGPIPES! SHE WONT SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
|Thursday, September 25th, 2003|
|I want to take you in my arms, forgetting all i couldnt do today
ill drink to that.
my mom told me today about my sister interacting with kids at school..
a girl was bragging about her teeth, how neat they are..
my sister starts telling the girl a tale of a possum thinking how great its tail was, but when it woke up from a nap its tail was shaved.. my sister then told the girl that if she didnt shut up she would pull all of her teeth out in her sleep.
stole a bunch of my brothers cd's today, bjork is fun to listen to, reminds me of my younger days when my brother was my pal. Current Mood: cranky
|Tuesday, September 16th, 2003|
ive spent two days sitting in my neighbors garage playing games, and the whole time i was dreaming about something else...
this will work better then anything i could say right now.
What good is a photograph of you?
Every time I look at it
It makes me feel blue
What use is a souvenir of something
We once had
When all it ever does is
Make me feel bad
I wish I could tear it up
But then again I haven't the guts
I wish I could throw it on the fire
I wish I could
But to say I would
I'd be a liar
What good is a color print of a little baby doll?
When just one little glance is enough to make me feel dull
I wish I would misplace it
But then I take such good care of it
I wish it would disappear
I say I wish
But then I relish it being here
What good is a photograph of you?
Every time I look at it
It makes me feel blue Current Mood: ok
|Sunday, August 24th, 2003|
|cry in my sleep (cry boy, cry boy)
sometimes i wish i was directionless, but i feel like im stuck in a current and my life is just heading one way... i really dislike uncertainy... but i feel sometimes like a spoiled movie.... i know how it will end, and im not saying in the death sence... i feel like im going to be unhappy... like i am almost every day, i think i enjoy the feeling of sadness, because i delay happiness but i never wait for sadness.....
sat here all day watching movies at nephis, i havent been home at all today, but my computer is here and the onlything for me at home besides my family (which ive gotten close to lately) is my bed... and sleep...
i wish i got real emails.... or at least something more personal.... other then telling me how i have a small penis... Current Mood: crushed
|maybe for forever
did a lan at nephis last night, stayed up late, watching judge dread after half the games wouldnt work.
woke up on a floor at 11:30
i was supposed to be to chads sisters homecoming at 11:00 ; (
oh well. Current Mood: bored
|Saturday, August 23rd, 2003|
|finding myself, even more, in love with you
got my hair cut this morning by a lady who likes to do odd things to my hair.. oh well, i like odd things.
said goodbye to kayelyn again, but hopefully i will see her alot.. a hug from her is the best thing ever.
my computer is here at chads, taking it to nephis now. Current Mood: worried